Leadership and The Three Areas of Your Life

 

 

The Leadership Series

 

 

Leadership is, and always be, a great necessity where people are concerned. The reason is that people are messy, and in every context, someone must wade into that pool of messiness to reach, teach, and lead others. Of course, this is not easy – hence the rise of management in our post-industrialized world. We create processes that are easier to manage and attempt to dehumanize things as much as possible.

Management has grown in popularity as a result. It’s hard to find a job posting that has leader in its title, but manager? It is everywhere.

Now, there’s nothing wrong with management. HR departments – the company’s preservation and protection mechanism – will continue to create, define, and refine management processes. As it does so, there will be a need for people to manage those processes. In our post-industrial world, it is a necessity to be honest.

But is it enough?

Is it enough to simply create processes and manage people through them? Can it solve your problems – and, perhaps more importantly, develop the next generation?

The answer is no – in fact, a HARD NO – it cannot.

Yes, you can manage people through processes, but you cannot develop them, nor will it solve your problems. This is the impasse many in America have come to: An overreliance on management that has merely kicked problems down the line, and when those problems can no longer be ignored, interest must be paid on them, too.

 

The above is a very brief synopsis of the state of work in America today. There’s A LOT more than could be discussed – and will be in future articles – but for this one, we will explore the truth that work is not the only facet of our lives. What are those facets, you may ask – and, just as important, how does leadership affect them? I believe we can categorize them into three distinct areas: Family, personal, and work. Each of these is explored in more depth below.

 

NOTE: This article is part 2 of a series on Leadership here at The Wealthy Ironworker

1. Foundational Leadership Truths
2. Leadership and The Three Areas of Your Life
3. Personal & Professional Development in a Leadership Context
4. Leadership, Management, and The Skilled Trades
5. The 4 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader
6. Leadership and The Task-Oriented Trades
7. Situational Leadership and the Skilled Trades
8. Leadership and The Art of Intentionality
   1. Skills Developed From The Art of Intentionality
9. Leadership and Emotional Intelligence
   1. Skills Developed From Emotional Intelligence
10. Leadership and Humility
    1. Skills Developed From Humility
11. Leadership and Listening to Understand and Not to Respond
    1. Skills Developed From Listening to Understand and Not to Respond
12. Skills Developed Overall in the Leadership Process
13. Mentored & Mentoring in Leadership
14. Influence Vs. Inspiration
15. Inspiration – Going Beyond Influence

 

***The above is subject to change as this series expands***

 

Leadership & Family

 

Family is the first, and it’s first for a reason. It should be the most important thing to each one of us. It should be the reason you get up and go to work: To provide, strengthen, uphold, honor, revere, and stick close to. And yet, after 23 years in the trades, I’ve seen so many guys prioritize family LAST – and they paid the ultimate price for that: Complete devastation of their family. Everyone I’ve ever talked to – and I mean EVERY person – once they have years to look back on their mistakes, reflect the same way: They wish they had made family a priority.

Take heed, gentlemen, and learn from those who’ve gone before you.

 

What Does it Look Like – and What Makes it Different?

First, before proceeding, I need to say this: Your worldview determines how you perceive the family structure, which in turn influences EVERYTHING about how you perceive leadership. For example, you may view leadership as something both people in a marriage do, whereas others believe someone must take the responsibility. You might think that children should have a say in everything, while others disagree. Perhaps you elevate feelings while others elevate logic and rationality. There are as many variables as you can think of, which leads some to despair. What do we do?

I won’t explore each of the above points and more in-depth; instead, I’ll touch on a few that deserve their day in court, and allow you to reflect on them yourself.

 

Be Careful Who You Marry

I’m pro-marriage, but that doesn’t mean I haven’t seen the pitfalls. I’m not blind. After 23 years, I’ve heard so many stories of guys being exploited, turned into little more than paychecks, all the while keeping their kids from them to boot.

Ultimately, the person you choose to marry will likely be the most critical decision of your life (outside of a faith decision, that is). Does that person share many of the same viewpoints you do? Are they aggressive or easygoing? Are they combative? Do they want children? And if they do, how will you raise them? The time to ask questions like these is when you’re dating, not after marriage.

I’ll say it again: Be careful who you marry.

 

Boundaries

Boundaries are the lines you draw – and keep others from crossing. What’s more, they are created for EVERYONE – including your mother. What is your take on boundaries? Do you have and regularly enforce them, or is this the first time you’ve heard the word? Boundaries are a crucial part of your life; if you haven’t already, take a moment to reflect on them. It’s just as likely you’ll also need to establish some, too.

 

Priorities

As a family, what are your priorities? Do you even know? Have they been established, and are they being pursued? Some things are more important than others, but if you do not have priorities, how do you select an order in the chaos?

 

We could explore Leadership & Family indefinitely; it’s a subject that’s both impactful and deep. For my part, though, I only wanted to get everyone thinking of what things could look like when we are intentional. Leadership and the family are far more important than many understand or acknowledge. Reflect on them.

 

Leadership & Your Personal Life

 

Your personal life is separated from your family for a reason. Yes, you could say your family is your life – but what about your hobbies? What do you do for fun/enjoyment? Do you volunteer, interacting with others outside of your family? Are you a member of a group, committee, or regularly meet with others? Perhaps you attend church somewhere, or you may be involved in leading others through sports, coaching, or other activities.

Ultimately, whether you are a cohesive family or experience regular conflicts at home, you have a separate area of your life where you interact with others outside the family dynamic. That space is what I refer to as the “personal” one.

This area of your life is the easiest one, as far as leadership is concerned; most people share a common goal when coming together here. While derision and difficulties will always arise among people, this area is the easiest to manage.

For example, you can choose to walk away and enjoy something else. Not seeing eye to eye with someone? There may be another group somewhere where you can contribute. Getting burned out on something? Simply try something else. Need to prioritize family time and/or attempt to balance work? You may need to step back from something here to get things back on track.

In the end, this area of your life is the simplest to deal with in terms of your time, effort, energy, ability to scale, etc. The same can’t be said of your family and work – they are far more necessary than this one. Consequently, this is also why this area gets so little attention in the leadership aspect.

 

Leadership & Work

 

Work may be listed last, but that isn’t because it’s the easiest; indeed, work is THE most difficult where leadership is concerned. There are a few reasons for this:

• The increased number of people you interact with
• The varying personalities
• The nature of the skilled trades themselves

 

The Increased Number of People You Interact With

Being in the trades for as long as I have, I’ve interacted with hundreds, if not thousands, of people by now to some degree, ranging from a surface level to a daily, deeper connection. What’s more, this is also what you’ll experience when you elect to mentor the next generation with intentionality – some will only need a surface-level interaction, others require more depth. You’ll only be able to tell which is needed when you know the person.

In any case, interacting with that many people requires broader leadership in scope and execution for the intentional leader.

 

The Varying Personalities

I recall a few years ago when a leadership consultant shared with me his first experience with ironworkers; previously, he had only dealt with those in an office environment – the white-collar world, as it were. He was astonished at how different the two groups of people were; how they viewed, approached, and handled things.

This was a testament to just how different the two groups of people were – and indeed still are. I maintain that what works in the white-collar space does not work in the field, and vice versa. And one of the reasons is due to the varying personalities one can find on the job site. You have people who are quiet and reserved. Others are boastful and arrogant. Some are cautious and methodical. Still others can fall in line and do exactly what they are told – and nothing more.

Oh, and let’s not forget the various trades themselves. Generalities about specific trades exist, and they exist for a reason. A stigma surrounds almost every profession. And, after all the years I’ve been in, I can confidently say my own craft tends to be the most prideful. Want to take a guess whether that makes leadership easier or more difficult? I jest – you already know the answer.

For my part, the above was but one more reason for my own exploration into the need for field-based leadership.  That is, exploring how leadership is and needs to be different in the trades.

 

The Nature of the Skilled Trades Themselves

Following the varying personalities aspect here, the very nature of trade work itself increases the need for quality leadership. The trades bring a unique environment for the tradesman to face. Working in different environments, often throughout the year in both heat and cold, and frequently getting dirty, can lead to callousness to the severity of the things you’re exposed to – these are just a few of the challenges faced by various trades. With the differences in environments, conditions, increased difficulties, extreme temperatures, and diverse temperaments on the job, is it any wonder that a leadership model – however tried and true in the office space – is not suitable for those in the trades?

For those aware of the significant differences between these two working groups, the answer is obvious. Not so for those who assume and lump everyone into a one-size-fits-all leadership model.

 

 

Leadership For Your Life

 

Now that we have explored the three distinct, different levels of your life, where leadership can/should be applied, there are a few more things I’d like to point out.

First, I hope that everyone truly understands the desperate need for authentic and genuine leadership. The void we are looking at is absolutely enormous.

Second, if I had to choose only one area for the tradesman to focus on when it comes to leadership, it would be their family. Yes, it’s true, I believe work is the most difficult area for leadership to be used and/or effective. And yes, it’s also true that family is the area least focused on. BUT it’s also the MOST rewarding. At the end of your days, you will not want to be surrounded by your achievements, accolades, successful projects, money, or memorabilia – you’ll want your family by your side. Do the work now to ensure that it’ll happen.

Third, although leadership with your family is the most important area, the leadership model you’ll explore here is primarily driven with work in mind. Why? The reasons for this are many. The family dynamic is as unique as you are. You have to learn about those in your family, your values, your beliefs, etc. That dynamic is the most important, but all too often, people take the easy route and let things cruise on autopilot, or worse, they sabotage it for work.

Contrast that with work for a moment. Unless you win the lottery or inherit money, you’ll likely work for several decades before you can consider retiring. Put another way, while people can opt out of the family dynamic and their personal life can vary, you have to work – it’s inescapable for most. What this means, of course, is that it is the one area that affects the majority of people. As such, this leadership model, seeking to make the most impact, focuses on work. It’s that simple.

 

Conclusion

 

Leadership, regardless of the area of life in which it is applied, has declined significantly in our industrialized world. Management – and the processes it ushers in – have become commonplace, so much so that we have been lulled into complacency. Until, that is, the leadership vacuum is too big to ignore. This is precisely where we find ourselves today.

To that end, as you navigate through the remaining articles on leadership here at The Wealthy Ironworker, I ask you not only to read with an open mind but also a hunger for change. Take what you can and implement it in your family dynamic. Reflect on leadership in your personal life and internalize this exposé on leadership for maximum returns in your work.

A citizenry devoid of leadership will appreciate it more than you know.

 

 

 

NOTE: This article is part 2 of a series on Leadership here at The Wealthy Ironworker

1. Foundational Leadership Truths
2. Leadership and The Three Areas of Your Life
3. Personal & Professional Development in a Leadership Context
4. Leadership, Management, and The Skilled Trades
5. The 4 Indispensable Qualities of a Leader
6. Leadership and The Task-Oriented Trades
7. Situational Leadership and the Skilled Trades
8. Leadership and The Art of Intentionality
   1. Skills Developed From The Art of Intentionality
9. Leadership and Emotional Intelligence
   1. Skills Developed From Emotional Intelligence
10. Leadership and Humility
    1. Skills Developed From Humility
11. Leadership and Listening to Understand and Not to Respond
    1. Skills Developed From Listening to Understand and Not to Respond
12. Skills Developed Overall in the Leadership Process
13. Mentored & Mentoring in Leadership
14. Influence Vs. Inspiration
15. Inspiration – Going Beyond Influence

 

***The above is subject to change as this series expands***