What is Exploring Beyond The Veil of Composure?

 

 

The What Series

 

 

When you view the Home page of The Wealthy Ironworker, the tagline reads, “Exploring Beyond The Veil of Composure.”

“What exactly does that mean?” I can hear someone asking.

That is precisely what I plan to address in this article. More specifically, I’d like to detail what it is, how I stumbled on it, why it’s a great tagline, how it is applicable to EVERYONE (not just those of us in the trades), and lastly, how we can address it.

 

Definitions

 

First, let’s break it down and define the various components.

Oxford Languages, the online dictionary that comes up when someone Google’s something, defines veil this way: “A thing that serves to cover, conceal, or disguise.”

OK, that’s fairly straightforward. What does the dictionary say about composure?

“The state or feeling of being calm and in control of oneself.”

Putting the two together, we get a “veil of composure.” Simply put, people pretend (by putting up a veil) they have it altogether (by pretending they are composed/steady/have it all figured out).

 

How I discovered it

 

Watching Attack on Titan, easily one of the most popular anime shows ever, there was a scene where one of the main characters said, “I can see through the veil of her composure,” and BOOM – it was instantly lodged in my brain. You know those times when you hear someone say something – in real life, in a movie, in certain situations, everyday conversations – and it just resonates with you?

Yeah, this was one of those times.

If you’re curious, you can find it in season 1, episode 7, timestamp 12:20 to 12:30.

 

Why it’s a great tagline

It’s reflective

 

Once lodged in my brain, I began to ruminate on it; I just kept thinking about how accurate his assessment was (in the video) due to the circumstances at hand. She (the character he was referring to) thought she had lost someone dear to her; so dear, in fact, she had basically given up – and in that moment, she was acting as though everything was alright. She was calm. She was strong. She projected strength.

But, like so many today, that was a mere facade. Internally, she was a wreck.

In other words, she hid behind a veil of composure.

At this point, I’m reminded of an applicable quote that describes A LOT of people today:

 

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The mass of men lead lives of quiet desperation.”

– Henry David Thoreau

 

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And in many cases, we all walk around with veils on. Which means, of course, it’s a great tagline precisely because it is applicable to the masses, which is a good segue into…

 

How it’s applicable to EVERYONE

 

For my part, I believe just about everyone walks around with a veil of compoure from time to time. Men erect them when around their family. Some have them up while at work. Others have them up when around friends. Or when problems arise. Or when troubles brew in their family dynamics. Or when they are depressed, anxious, distrustful, distracted, disengaged….on and on the list goes. Just about any situation offers us opportunities to erect veils of composure.

What’s more, veils of composure aren’t limited to the individual. Couples create them. Families have them. Companies maintain them. Governments certainly possess them.

Taking it even further, there is no area of life where we can’t find veils of composure, either. We’ve already discussed the family dynamic, and certainly, there is work – that ever-pervasive aspect of our lives. How many of us have hidden behind veils of composure when doing something, all while we don’t know what to do? Or when we have a health concern? What about money? (Usually when we don’t have enough, but too much can wreak havoc as well.)

In short, everyone and everything has veils of composure depending on the subject, timeframe, situation(s), and/or state of being.

 

How to address it

Pull the veil of composure back, shedding light and exploring beyond it – that’s what the image means

 

The first step is to acknowledge that veils of composure exist. I’ve said for years now that you cannot solve a problem you do not acknowledge. This may seem simple, but far too many people live in a state of constant denial. This is true for numerous reasons: our insecurities, fears, anxieties, ignorance, mistakes, concerns…you name it, and it’s likely a reason.

One of the most interesting aspects, at least to me, is our reluctance to admit when we have been misled.

 

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“It’s easier to fool people than to convince them that they have been fooled.”

– Mark Twain

 

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What happens is that we are so sure of what we’ve been told – and subsequently believe – that we are very reluctant to acknowledge we’ve been duped. And when we realize we’ve been duped (without admitting it to everyone else, mind you), we put up veils of composure: “I knew it wasn’t true,” we tell ourselves. Or, for the most disingenuous among us, we double down: “No, it IS true! It HAS to be…”

I’m looking at you 🫵, propaganda.

 

Once something has been acknowledged (whether we tell others or not), you then need to gather as much information as possible. Not only can you not solve a problem you refuse to acknowledge, but your ability to solve problems is also commensurate with the level of understanding you have. Put another way, if you understand 50% of a problem, you shouldn’t be surprised when your solution is 50% effective (at best, mind you).

 

Only after you’ve gathered information can you begin to address the veils of composure – IF we want to address them at all.

Wait – what?

 

Not All Veils of Composure Need to be Addressed

Not all veils need to be taken down

 

Up to this point, the direction of this article has been that veils of composure are not only present, but also undesirable. Put another way, they exist when they shouldn’t, and we not only need to recognize them but also explore beyond them.

But while it’s true that veils of composure exist everywhere, that doesn’t automatically mean they all need to be addressed, explored, and dismissed. Indeed, some exist, and for good reason at that. Earlier, health concerns were discussed. Few would have a problem when a parent has a veil of composure around their children. Sometimes, fathers maintain a veil of composure while caring for their family. Every now and then, some people don’t need to know details, and veils of composure exist as a result.

To be sure, there are various reasons why, but some veils of composure exist for a good reason.

This then begs the question: Are there veils of composure for bad reasons – and if so, why?

 

Bad Veils of Composure

There are bad veils, and they should be taken down

 

The short answer is yes; the longer answer is also yes, but with more detail.

There are a lot more bad veils than good ones. Indeed, most people carry around numerous veils of composure at all times. THE most prevalent is someone pretending they are okay when they are struggling, but others include someone not dealing with problems, ignoring what is important, procrastinating, substituting harmful behaviors, allowing more chaos than normal – these, and many more not listed, are all examples of veils of composure people erect and hide behind.

Or, put another way, there are veils of composure that people put up when they shouldn’t – making the veils bad.

We are not meant ot go through this life alone, and far too often, even when we aren’t alone, we still erect and maintain veils of composure. These, also, are instances when veils of composure are bad.

 

Conclusion

 

For my part, I believe veils of composure exist far more than they should. This is why I use the tagline. Moreover, the image used – with a veil pulled back and light shining from the corner – helps to illustrate that on this website, we are pulling the veil back, shining light on what’s behind it.

Or, said another way, here at The Wealthy Ironworker, we are “Exploring Beyond the Veil of Composure.”

And that is what it means.

 

 

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